Wednesday, June 27, 2012

The Hard Stuff

To begin, this was originally a Facebook post. True story. So if you're here cause I added you to the Facebook post, never fear. You are in the right place. I'm grateful for you and this last week you've really had an impact on me in a beneficial way. For that I thank you. If you get bored, you, in no way, are obligated to read this entire thing. Just know I really appreciate all that you've done for me...whether you're in Utah with me now or back home in Washington!

Anyways, here I go.

Today I realized something absolutely amazing. I was going through a rough patch all of us do. Life was actually really sucked, or at least I thought it did. That's all I could think about. How THIS was hard. How THAT was hard. I just kept thinking about how everyone had it so great and my life was so hard and stressful ... then I realized how lame I was was being about the situation. How lame? As lame as a purple cow vacuuming the room of the man who voices the genie in Aladdin...which is actually not as lame as I was trying to make it (cause a purple cow is NOT lame by any means)....but that's besides the point. The point is that I was being dumb about the situation. Coming to this realization I decided to look at things in a new light. Instead of being pessimistic, or optimistic for that matter, I decided to face reality. I further opened myself up to the situation...the real one. I let my eyes see. I let my ears hear. I let my mind think. I listened to what was going on around me. Yes. Frankly, there IS a lot going on in my life right now that has been really difficult. Life kinda sucks...but that is just how it works, and I'm gonna have to get over it eventually. After realizing this, I AGAIN thought about all that I have to be grateful for. That no matter how hard life is right now, I am truly blessed with a supportive family, loving friends, a great school...blah blah blah. Not that you guys are "blah," it's just that I became grateful for something that I never thought I'd be grateful for today...

Trials. Yep. That's right. Today I became grateful for all the difficult stuff that's going on in my life right now.

Crazy I know, but it was quite an epiphany! I became glad about something I'd only ever complained about. This one SINGLE trial had been all I was focused on. One SIMPLE thing that has been driving me up the wall for the last two months! And then BAM. I realized the worth of this particular trial and then BOOM I immediately felt relived. Woah right? Basically, even though it's hard, I know that overall, it's all for the better. By looking at the situation realistically I saw how I'm benefiting. Yea. It hurts. hurts really bad and some nights are just killer. But I really do know that it's for the best.

One thing I had to realize is that sometimes you have to let people go. I don't really give up on anything, and I don't think I'm giving up now. (thanks to the kind yet convincing words of some really great friends) But no matter how hard it is, sometimes the best thing you can do is let someone go. Not just for you, but for them too. There comes a time where, no mater how much you care for someone, and no matter how much you want the best for them, they don't want the best for you. The truth of the matter is that the only person you are in control of is yourself. Sometimes that's all you can do...because everyone else, and most likely the situation at the time, is not something you can control. And you know what else? After you really have done everything that you can do, our beloved and omnipotent Heavenly Father will help us out. He ALWAYS does. He knows what we're going through and how bad you may be hurting or how much you may be struggling. Yet, keep in mind...the act of letting someone go shouldn't include hate. I hate hate....well that's dumb. Word choice Alex, world choice. Okay, with a fiery passion rising from the abyss of the deepest depths of...a bad place, I adamantly and strongly dislike "hate." That covers it decently I think. But in all seriousness, I think letting someone go should include a release of all negative feelings. I also don't think you should try to forget someone. Although you may have bad memories, you have good memories. At least some. Or you can at least think somewhat positively about the situation, while still identifying how difficult it was. Anyways. Letting people go. Moving on. The hard stuff....well it's hard. Whether the glass is half way full or half way empty, it's still halfway filled with somethin.

I really miss my friends from home. My gal friends specifically, cause I'll be writing about the guy ones in a sec...but there was always that bond. An instantaneous and mutual understanding of sorts. I can't really explain it. I'm be home in just three days and it's just super duper crazy. I honestly don't know what I'd do without my besties. My boos! This week, even though we're what seems like a freaking bajillion miles apart, they've been their for me. They've talked to me and gave me the advice I desperately needed. To the girl friends that are here with me now and have provided wise words and comforting eyes, I really appreciate it too. I consider you my besties for sure and...garsh I just love ya! Then there are my college girl friends that are away from me now but will be here in the fall...I can't wait! We're gonna have a blast when you get back....I decided. But really. You ALL are so amazing and I don't know how I'd get through life without you!

Also. Here's the reason I sent a lot of you boys over here from Facebook...I really have come to further appreciate respectful men. Guys that don't manipulate or play games. Guys that are honest but not pushy. Guys that open your door and spend time with you, expecting nothing other then ...well...TIME. Guys that are willing to have fun and joke, but are also willing to ask what's wrong because these are the guys that also notice when you are down. These are the guys that encourage you to speak your mind. Encourage you to be yourself. Encourage you to be better. I was always the girl with a lot of guy friends just cause I always do guy stuff apparently...I don't even know how to explain it. But I really do get along with guys. ....and I've made a lot. You guys are all awesome. Whether you're the guy that I ask advice to, or the one I want to hang out with, or both...I don't know but you're amazing. I miss my boys from home and I'm so grateful for the guy friends I've made here (you know who you are). Don't get me wrong....The gal friends I've made are some of the best friends I'll ever have, and I miss my besties from home to DEATH....but there's just something about having your guy friends to talk to especially if you're like me....but don't ask me what that is 'cause I don't have an answer for you. Anyways...Thank you. You mean the world to me.

And mother...I can't even express to you how much you mean to me. You've been such a comfort to me this past week, and I wasn't even home. This is why you're the greatest. I love you! 

Well. That's all for now folks. Sorry it was so agonizingly long. If you have complaints, or you just want to be like..."yo Alex, I actually made it through that whole post!" feel free to comment on the bottom. Always know you are loved and remember...that glass has something in it. Basically you're great and don't ever forget it! 


  1. Well, I gotta say, that's awesome! (Don't you just love being off at college where we get to have all these epiphanies? Well, sometimes...) Glad I got to be a part of your epiphany, even if I have absolutely no idea what I did. :D

    1. Yea. It is pretty neat! And no worries. You don't even need to know what or how...just that you were!

  2. I am glad we are such good friends. (: I made it through the whole post. Also your word of the day is Launch... Rockets rock! I may have to give the shotgun to my little sister. She is like my closest bud. Or maybe we will make like 6 shotgun seats. (: Have a wonderful day and keep on truckin'!

    1. I'm impressed that you read the whole thing! But yes. My word of the day is launch, and what's funny is that I had it before you posted about flying to the was just so coincidental that it made your post ten times better....but I'd be willing to give up shotgun to your sister...unless there was more then one. In that case I call dibs on one! Thanks so much Spencer. You're such an amazing friend to have!!